Few things are more terrifying than the DickCheneyzilla…

This fun graph was in a scholarly article.

This fun graph was in a scholarly article.

Scholarly Shit

blogs real scholarly articles that I wanna write like:

So I know you said that the Journal of Adolescent & Adult Literacy is kind of a fake scholarly journal but I can’t help but like it.  I mean, when you search for Harry Potter in the title and 4 of the first 11 articles that come up are from the Journal of Adolescent and Adult Literacy, then you can’t help but like it.  Plus it sounds more like someone is presenting a powerpoint to you instead of some random dude reading a paper from a podium without ever looking up to face his audience.  That’s just the feel I get from it.

Another one that I liked, also partially because it was a little fake, was the Phi Delta Kappan.  If a picture is truly worth a 1000 words, then Phi Delta Kappan’s articles are the longest scholarly articles ever because they are filled with pictures.  Is this a bad thing?  If you ask some professors, perhaps.  But if you ask me then it is absolutely not a bad think because I love me some pictures.

Hahahaha I found an article from the Michigan Law Review called ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Crazed Bureaucracy.  How could I not include that on the ‘like’ list.  It was fun to read something that was written seriously in a Law journal but happened to be about Harry Potter, it seems whenever two opposing ideas are presented in the same article I will always find it funny.

I also enjoyed articles from ‘The Personalist Journal’ because they were presented in an engaging first person style.

Worksheet for class (again)

Find a partner. Simona!

Tell  your partner what you want to write about. If you don’t know, write down 2-3 topics that interest you.

Quidditch and how it has been manifested into a real sport and the phenomenon surrounding that whole thing. (kinda already exhausted that topic with my last paper)

Why it makes perfect sense for dumbledore to be gay?

Hermione’s socialist values. (hahahaha)

Tell your partner how you want to write what you want to write—do you want to be informative, snarky, funny, serious?

I want to write about a serious topic but I want my argument to be presented in a funny way.  Serious enough that my argument is still taken seriously, but funny enough that I won’t hate my life while writing it (sounds like a fine line to walk).

Together—

Look at blogs. You don’t have to agree with each other, but find a variety of blogs that you think are worthy or not worthy of imitation based on how you want to sound.

Find 5 blogs whose style you would like to imitate.

www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com (probably the closest to the style I’m trying to achieve, except perhaps I’ll curse more often)

jezebel.com (the recent post I found about a woman’s sports woes converted me on the spot, it hit my weak spot and I then had to love it)

www.icanhazcheezburger.com (A site simply about cats and how they’re awesome and hilarious? Yes.  Less a blog and more a visual inspiration.  Also, I would like to emulate the way it makes me laugh.)

www.failblog.com (really, what’s funnier than seeing funny/embarrassing shit happen to other people?)

www.sportspickle.com (its a sports satire site, kind of like if The Onion only did sport related articles.  I suppose this is perhaps the type of blog I would like to copy the most.  The style throughout is hilarious)

Find 5 blogs whose style you do not want to imitate.

www.brobible.com  (this site attempts to be funny but it just turns out to be a bunch of douchebags writing about how funny they think they are.  Though I want my style to funny and entertaining, I want to avoid the douchebaggery factor, which may be a fine line to walk on.  Literally, the thing I’m most worried about is being a douchebag and so I’m counting this blog as 2 entries because I hate this site so much.)

www.perezhilton.com  (I don’t want my blog to come off as being merely gossip, because we already have enough middle shcoolers doing that and the world doesn’t need/want me to add to the gossip)

www.cosmopolitan.com (more like an online version of the magazine, but I guess that kinda sums up what a blog is.  Not gonna lie, I find cosmo funny and extremely amusing, but I will NEVER be able to take it seriously.  And though I want to be funny, I still want to be taken seriously.)

myspace/xanga (If my work is mistaken for something that could be on either of these, then I have failed)

Explain what you do not like about each one.

Put an account of your work on tumblr.

Who thought that I would be the one to bring up Jezebel again?

So last night I followed a link on someone’s facebook page that lead me to a Jezebel article.  Mistake, right? Well, 98.56% of the time, yes.  But this time it was well worth it, and I now have an odd sort of reverence (ok, bad word choice) or some sort of unique new weird respect for Jezebel. 

Because I’m not gonna lie, when we had to read to read an article from Jezebel last class, I thought it was a joke at first.  Why, you ask? Perhaps it was because I don’t fit the intended audience of Jezebel whatsoever. Or maybe the fact that the only other time I read anything from Jezebel was when my friend found something about a Duke girl’s powerpoint “fuck list” (presented  thesis style, no less) going viral (no, I am not kidding) and Jezebel was the only source we found that openly made it public for the whole world to see, thereby pretty much ruining the next 800 or so social encounters this poor girl would have.  So ya, you could say that I was a teensy weensy bit biased against pretty much anything Jezebel had to say. 

But this one article by this one woman changed most of that.  Of course, it was about sports (no surprise there) and the agony that one puts his/herself through in supporting sports teams.  I found myself completely relating to pretty much everything that the article had to say and really made me realize how ridiculous I am for putting myself through what will almost certainly be disappointment year after year.  The author of this article manages to wonderfully capture the utter misery that fans put themselves through when following certain teams, and I couldn’t agree more with what she says.

I just wanted to post this article here because it’s probably one of maybe 3 articles on Jezebel (I haven’t done much searching, but perhaps I could find more that I like a bunch) that I would recommend wholeheartedly without hesitation.  And really, to all the people in the class who don’t really follow sports all that much (and you’re probably a better person for not doing so), this is an insight for you into the messed up mind of a sports fan. Really, it’s a jungle in there and though you may find it ridiculous why a couple of guys would roadtrip to San Antonio on a school night when they have class at 9:00 AM the next day and be willing to pay too much for a ticket just to see their beloved Dallas Mavericks lose to the detestable ugliness that is the San Antonio Spurs and then get beer thrown at them by a jeering crowd of Spurs and then get a speeding ticket because they were trying to get out of that city as fast as they could after the loss (true story), it makes perfect sense to a sports fan.

So ya, the fact I found this on Jezebel made me think it was a big enough deal to post on tumblr.  Enjoy.

http://jezebel.com/5683508/wherefore-art-thou-championship—a-female-sports-fans-lament?skyline=true&s=i

Random

OK, so this post has absolutely no academic merit whatsoever and is completely random, but I just felt I should share that I managed to go through all of Wednesday’s class without speaking.  That’s right, the class where Foley said something along the lines of “We’re not leaving class today until everyone has said something.”  The only sounds heard from me were from me chuckling at the endlessly amusing asides from Isaac and Rebecca, mostly about her being white. 

Why am I bothering to post this? Don’t know really, I was just proud of myself and it’s the little things in life that make it awesome.  I realize now that Foley will probably target me now and force me to speak but whatevs, I had my proud moment of not speaking for over an hour and she can’t take that away from me. 

Also, if anyone is interested in seeing what quidditch drills look like, then I suggest you go to Clark Field (the one behind San Jac Dorm) at 3:00 on Sundays.  You won’t be disappointed.

That is all.

P.S.  With permission from Isaac, I have now started a list of notable quotes from him during class times and I’m putting them all together in a collection of Isaac quotes.  So if you’re interested at the end of the semester in getting your hands on this random list of quotes, let me know, because what better way to remember this class than a quote from Isaac about him detailing the cuteness of the semicolon, the awesomeness of Lady Gaga, or making fun of Rebecca for not being a minority?  Don’t answer, because there isn’t a better way.

Another post

So I do, in fact, realize that we were supposed to blog about clarity.  And before anyone can chastise me for not writing my prior blog post about clarity, let me say that I made it quite CLEAR that you should join the Quidditch team.  If that isn’t clarity for you, then I don’t know what is.  I just thought I would address that potential concern before it gets brought up.

I want YOU for UT Quidditch!

So I must say, I couldn’t be happier now that we are done with our rhetorical analyses.  I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders because I no longer have the constant reminder of my analysis that needs to be done in the back of my mind.

No jk, I won’t use lame cliches like that to describe my feelings for my rhetorical analysis.  For now, I’m just glad we’re moving on from it.

In other more important news, the first general meeting for those interested in joining the University of Texas Quidditch team was yesterday, and I didn’t see a single person from this class there.  I  must say, the disappointment I felt was more than I can describe.  How is it that out of a class full of nerds (ya, I just called us all nerds, it’s the truth, don’t fight it) there wasn’t a single person at possibly one of the most nerdiest things you can get involved in? The disappointment, to say the least, was hard to bare (bear?). 

If, however, you didn’t go to the meeting because you weren’t aware of it, and you think the idea of running around chasing balls with a broom between your legs excites you, then boy do I have some good news for you!  You  only need to do a few things in order to join and be able to put “Quidditch Player” on your resume (recruiters love it when they see that). 

1. Join the facebook group “Texas Quidditch”.  Here you will learn all about upcoming meetings and practices and a few links to see what it looks like when muggles try and play quidditch.

2. Come talk to me before, after, or if you’re really daring, during class about joining.  I can give you some details on what life is like knowing you’re representing your university by running around on a broom making flying noises and how your parents will think it’s awesome that you’re spending your time at said prestigious university playing a fictitious sport.  Trust me, they’ll think it’s great! But for real I can tell you how to sign up and get involved.

And if you’re worried you’re not athletic enough/not enough of a fan/uncomfortable with being associated with quidditch then no worries! There are varsity and junior varsity teams and no prior quidditch experience is required! Plus, being on the team totally won’t hurt your rep because everyone thinks were awesome and is sure to point us out and laugh with us when we walk down the street.

So anyway, enjoy school and ponder how much you would enjoy it more if you were on the quidditch team! And for real, come talk to me if you’re interested.

mY FiRsT bLoG!!

I always knew Harry Potter was an inflammatory and touchy subject.  After the release of the first book, a copy found its way to our small humble school library.  I believe I was in 3rd or 4th grade, and the book was added to our AR list of approved books.  (AR was Accelerated Reader, a program to promote reading at a young age, where there was a list of books and each book was assigned a certain point value and each student had to reach a certain goal)

Soon after it was added to the library, there was an uproar from a few of the parents objecting to the book. They demanded that the book be removed from the library (I went to a small private Lutheran elementary school, it was safe to say that there were more than a few conservative and tightly wound parents) The Sorcerer’s Stone was actually removed from the library for a week until there was an even larger outcry because of its removal. The topic dominated the PTA meeting for the month or so.

Eventually the book was returned to the library but not without making more than a few upset.  I always knew that the Harry Potter series was a hot topic but I didn’t realize that it was so widespread until I read the wikipedia articles.  My favorite part was that fringe Christian organizations actually quoted an obviously fake and satirical Onion article about JK Rowling being a Satanist.  I never realized how desperate people could be in order to demonize Harry Potter.  I honestly found most of that wikipedia article absolutely hilarious.  Who knew that doing homework could be so entertaining?